We are on a collision course with the the demise of our culture as we know it because there is an epidemic of men checking out! Far too many men have no direction or vision in life, are becoming emasculated at an epidemic rate and are scared little boys that have never crossed over into authentic manhood. In today’s postmodern culture the meaning and image of true masculinity is seriously getting diluted, tainted, watered-down and completely lost. Unfortunately the narrative that’s being played out today is ‘boys in men’s bodies’ with only a few wanting to be men…but not exactly knowing how, while others remain nonchalant.

A common theme is that’s emerging is men and boys have become increasingly confused about their identity and role in today’s society. Fathers are not passing the mantle, media portrays men as incompetent, and society praises the “castration” of men. This subtle message has increasingly influenced the collective unconscious with devastating repercussions and young men have taken the bait of adverse societal cues as an excuse to avoid responsibility and never grow up!

For those young men who feel rudderless in today’s postmodern culture, here are some habits that will set you apart from the decaying norm and kick start your journey into authentic manhood.

1) Spend more time in reality.

Because men are losing a sense of accomplishment and challenge in society and within family units, way too many are turning to video gaming and virtual reality to escape the tightening noose around them. This isn’t a repudiation to gaming, but more a wakeup call to unplug more and spend time living life.

Many reading this might be thinking that I’m overstating this a bit, but the Pew Research Center found that 49% of adults play video games on either a computer, TV, game console, or a portable device such as a cell phone or tablet. Other research has found that approximately 88% of American youth play video games, and 8.5% of children and teens, ages 8 to 18, show signs of video game addiction. It can also also effect marriages if left unchecked!

Men, there is a need for accomplishing achievements and challenges in real life. Think about it this way, if you have a need to “level-up” go on real adventure or do it solving social problems that exist in today’s culture.

2) Find a mentor.

I believe one of the most valuable tools a man can possess in walking out this adventure called life is a mentor. Entering into a place of accountability with someone who you trust, who can share life experiences with and provide the much needed wisdom to navigate it — is invaluable.

Pause for a moment and consider your own need for a mentor at this place in your life. Many people I talk to, convince themselves that they can navigate life in their own strength and it’s sad to watch them stumble and fall. I’m not saying that a mentor will prevent all stumbling in your life, but they will definitely help you avoid some landmines along the way if you listen to them. I recommend mentors for men and women, but I’m speaking to the guys here because many boys have had fathers who were not involved or just absent. A boy without a compass is like an explorer without a map!

What younger men need is an older man who’s got skin in the game, who is speaking the truth, living the truth, sharing life from his failures, his successes, and being authentic and honest with him and just growing with him through life.

Have you sought out a mentor to help you navigate your personal and professional spheres?

3) Lead in the home.

Whether you like it or not, God placed the ultimate responsibility with respect to leadership in the household on the shoulders of the man. Also, God assigned the wife the duty of obeying her husband. Wait, before your head explodes…this obedience MUST BE A VOLUNTARY submission on her part, and only to her own husband. Oh and men…”head of the household” doesn’t mean male dominance, where you rule over a woman and demand her total obedience to your every wish and command. God never viewed women as second-class citizens and neither should you.

God’s Word does more than assign leadership in the household to the man, the comparison of the husband with Christ reveals the sense in which a man should be his wife’s “head.” The man is “head” by being intentional in her very welfare — he is her protector. The pattern we see here for men is Christ, who as head of the Church, is its Savior!

Remember guys, you will not lead her perfectly, but you must care for you wife and family by serving them with everything you’ve got.

Got it?

4) Escape passivity with more risk.

Stop playing life small!

Adam, the first real man — did absolutely nothing. He did not step up and denied his very nature and chose the path of passivity. Here is the rub guys, every one of us carries in his heart the same failure. We repeat the sin of Adam, every day. We won’t take risk, we won’t stand up and fight, and guys we won’t even rescue Eve. We are a chip off the old block! When it came to leadership and courage, Adam became a spectator.

Of course you might have to dial the risk back a bit as you get older, but stop being conservative in your life choices and think big! There is less risk while you’re young, energetic, and motivated; so face rejection and failure head on. In turn, embrace enormous and unimaginable success.

Men, take initiative and make this life count and live it to the fullest having used all your talents having no regrets. Get up off your @$$ and ask yourself what inspires me and what can I give? This life is too short not to live every day to your fullest potential.

Here is your challenge — make the world around you a better place!

5) Take responsibility for your life and set high standards.

Providing and responsibility is hard wired into the fabric of a man’s DNA. Us men need — not want — to be responsible.

The “distinctive roles” of men is quickly fading into the sunset and going the way of the dodo bird. Men thrive in an environment where they are relied upon and they feel most needed when they do something uniquely different from women. If they are not needed, they don’t flourish.

Men are stepping down in at epidemic proportions because culture shouts that they’re not needed. Although most men will not go out of their way to take on life’s challenges and responsibility, this is the very thing they should do if they want to thrive. Look…if you believe you will succeed, you often do.

If you set your sights high you will achieve awesome things in life, but to do this, you have to stop playing the victim card. Blaming the world, your parents, education, or the challenges you’ve faced in life is not going to help you rise above your problems. It’s going to keep you stuck and bitter — so knock it off and man up!

6) Commit fully to someone.

We live in the one of the most entitled generations of all time and with all success advice out there today, very little is focused about the benefits of finding a spouse who supports you and makes you better.

Dating is one thing, but when you step into the space of commitment you better take it seriously. Never make a huge decision such as getting married or becoming a parent without some maturity, wisdom and lots of prayer. Marriage is not easy and I messed up, but why choose the easy paths in life? Did divorce stop me from pursuing another committed relationship? Absolutely not!

Look guys, we are wired to face life’s obstacles…and responsibility is precisely what is needed for us to thrive. Oh and one more thing! Before you commit to a woman, remember these words from John Eldgredge, “A man needs a much bigger orbit than a woman. He needs a mission, a life purpose, and he needs to know his name. Only then is he fit for a woman, for only then does he have something to invite her into.”

7) Never stop learning.

One of the most valuable pieces of advice I received from my mentor was to remain teachable!

Ordinary pursue entertainment, but extraordinary people pursue education and learning. With online courses and digital media, learning is at your fingertips and you can you can become an well versed at almost anything. Many of most successful people today attribute their success learning and reading books often. With a few books, you can learn how about financial stability, healthy relationships, and to live out your dreams.

I’ve learned over the years, mostly the hard way, that diving into the right book at the right time can give someone a crucial advantage. Check out these 26 books that have personally made a huge difference for me!

Ok guys, it’s huddle time!

Have the courage to live life courageously from your heart, rather than only imagining living it because the world needs men to become fully alive.

The world needs you!