Hey Tim here — wanted to kick off this awesome guest post with a bit of commentary. Although, Melanie wrote this powerful letter to her sister I think it’s a great testament of what women are looking for in an authentic man. To all the women out there, despite what people tell you, there are good men out there and perhaps this checklist will help you find yours. Ok, enough from me, here is that letter!

To my beautiful little sister,

I love you so much. When I think of you, I picture your pretty smile and glimmering eyes. I love to hear your laughter, and although I know you understand loss, I cannot bear to think of you experiencing anything but the joy of God in your life. So this is why I am writing to you now. You see, your big sister has learned a lot through life experience about the opposite sex. I’ve dated them, worked with them, fellow-shipped with them, I married one, and now am raising 3!

What I am about to share with you, I pray you will cherish, for I know what it’s like to feel so hurt and confused, to scour the internet for helpful advice. And it is all based on this one profound premise:

Treat EVERY member of the opposite sex simply as male, not as a man, until they prove otherwise over an extensive period of time!

MALES V’s MEN: 24 Truths

1. A male wants to control your spirituality, whereas a man will encourage you in your own relationship with Jesus.
2. A male desires a female, whereas a man desires a wife.
3. A male will push your sexual boundaries, however a man upholds them.
4. A male has ideas, but a man makes plans and follows through.
5. A male degrades, whereas a man compliments.
6. A male will not want you to change, whereas a man will want you to grow.
7. A male feels inferior, however a man is proud of his intelligent wife.
8. A male fails in communication, whereas a man thrives upon this with you.
9. A male needs continuous help, but a man can take advice and help himself.
10. A male is stuck in addiction, but a man breaks the chains.
11. A male thinks the world owes him, yet a man feels privileged.
12. A male thinks you’ve done good to get his time, but a man is awed to have you in his life.
13. A male dictates, whereas a man leads alongside.
14. A male cannot control his words or actions, yet a man prides himself in doing so.
15. A male is lazy and expects service from you, whereas a man goes the extra mile for you.
16. A male doesn’t provide or save, but a man does both.
17. A male is too busy for his children, whereas a man understands quality time.
18. A male has sex, but a man makes love.
19. A male is possessive, yet a man is secure.
20. A male slanders others, including his ex, however a man admits his past mistakes.
21. A male is quick to judge, whereas a man is careful in his judgments.
22. A male makes rash, emotional responses, but a man makes careful and wise choices.
23. A male settles in life, however a man works to improve all aspects of his own and his community’s.
24. A male pretends to listen, whereas a man listens carefully.

Let me finish, my beautiful sister in saying that true beauty resides in dignity. No male is worth binding yourself to; it will only result in heartache and brokenness. Keep firm in your resolve to honour The Lord first and foremost in purity and wait…yes, wait my dear sister, a man is rare these days but worth the wait. Melanie.