For those of you who have been walking the journey out with me over the years here on Heartstone know that life is not always fair, its tough and through it as all we share many of the same stories. These events in our lives shape us along the way and how we choose to interpret these events makes all the difference in the world.

One of these events for me was divorce. It was tough…very tough, but I’ve learned so much about myself that I would not have learned unless I walked through this dark chapter in my life. I could have let it destroy me, but God put the right people in my path to help me walk it out and to see life through a different lens. I am learning to walk it out as my authentic self, to being the real deal, choosing to live life fully alive through it all.

God definitely got my attention, but breaking free of the expectations of this performance-oriented view of the world would take some time. Here is a snippet from Heartstone that described my condition.

Acting from a self-authored script on my own stage of life, I foolishly performed to the audience of this world, only seeing Jesus as a supplement to the playbill. I never knew the world looked at me through stained-glass eyes as it observed the apex of my achievements. I convinced everyone that my marriage was perfect, that my success in the corporate world was the greatest achievement ever, and that the material stuff and the financial success I obtained somehow made me someone. I convinced myself that I was in complete control of the world I created and that I was absolutely untouchable as long as I had my stuff to hide behind. With broad brushstrokes, I painted this far-fetched illusion that I alone was the motivating force behind all this success.

When I jumped into the social spaces and started blogging I was still struggling with this performance oriented mindset and it permeated my narrative. I didn’t take the time to dial into what my personal brand was and like many other authors it was all about me and my book. I didn’t even have a marketing plan because I was so full of myself. Sound familiar?

My personal brand was all about ME and what kind of personal brand is that?

I knew that I wanted to share my story, but I was so focused on how many people were following me on my social spaces and my blog that it became more about the numbers than what really mattered…the people. Every post I threw out on Facebook, Twitter, Google+ and Pinterest was about me or my book.

I learned the hard way from some trusted colleagues that it really isn’t about me. When I share content on my blog or out on my social spaces people are asking the question, “What’s in it for me?” The rub was, my personal brand at the time did not answer that question well.

Sure we all craze the applause, but behind the applause and desire to being known are the questions that most of us ask ourselves in one way or another…. Am I worthy? What makes me valuable?

Diving into these questions will determine how we answer the question of what is our personal brand. The way we answer these will determine if we are others oriented or not.

Check out this snippet from the Forbes article, “Personal Branding Is A Leadership Requirement, Not a Self-Promotion Campaign” by Glenn Llopis.

Have you defined your personal brand? Are you consistently living your personal brand every day?

If you’re like most, your answer to both is “no”. Based on a survey conducted by my organization, less than 15% of people have truly defined their personal brand and less than 5% are living it consistently at work – each and every day. Why? It can be extremely challenging and it requires a tremendous amount of self-awareness, action and accountability.

What I didn’t tell you is that 70% of professionals believe they have defined their personal brand and 50% believe they are living it. But when you “peel-back-the-onion,” you realize that their focus was centered on self-promotion rather than a commitment to advance themselves by serving others.

So what is a personal brand? A personal brand is the total experience of someone having a relationship with who you are and what you represent as an individual; as a leader.ⁱ

I haven’t arrived, but through many good and tough adventures on the journey of life God is helping me to focus in on what my personal brand is and as the article shares, other people are validating this for me. A couple of people that have been very influential in this space are my mentor Rick Evans of Living In Faith Ministries and Tony Marino.

Remember, successful brands have a strong personality behind them and your personal brand earns you trust from your market.

Here are some things to think about when figuring out your personal brand:

• Who are you?
• What story are you telling?
• Target your audience.
• Build relationships!!!!
• Develop your “wow” factor.
• Keep the experience alive and fresh.

How are you doing with your personal brand? Is your personal brand more about YOU or others?

Have you defined your personal brand? Are you consistently living your personal brand every day?