I was consumed in justifying myself apart from God, and it left me worn out, tired, and empty. Every day, I would run as hard as I could trying to find value and worth in everything else but where it was all the time—in God. I looked for it in the approval of my father, my mother, in others, in two marriages, in money, in achievement, in position and in power…I’m sure there are more places.
I spent so much time pursuing acceptance in these places that I lost everything that mattered. I became the sum total of all the expectations that I placed on my life giving up my identity, my true self just to belong. I discovered that many of the places I looked for love and acceptance never truly accepted or loved me back. What I did discover in the journey out of the midnight of my soul was that loving God is what my heart desired and what’s really awesome—He accepts me for who I am and…loves me back.
