Life | Heartstone Journey

3 Self Imposed Obstacles To Starting Over

Cruising up Route 89 on my way to work, I was listening to an Andy Stanley podcast, “Starting Over, Part One – Three Myths” enjoying the beautiful mountain scenery of New Hampshire while sipping on a much needed cup of coffee.

The message really hit home because it reminded me of of my own journey of “starting over” after my divorce. The whole experience sucked but I remember the transition of having to leave the comfort of my own house; then living a very transient lifestyle from a basement floor, to the top of a barn, to a single room, to small apartment at the back of an Inn, to a town house and years later back in a house. More about that later.

Before we dive deeper we have to backup a bit and ask the questions, “why do so many of us have to start over? ..and why don’t we get it right on round two, three, etc?” We can debate a bunch of reasons, but the one that typically stands out is that we made some crazy mistake in life and we never learn the lesson.

Have you ever noticed that we quickly learn from our mistakes in the areas that matter least in life? Sending that embarrassing auto-corrected text. Inadvertently sending that “not for your boss’s eyes” email right into his/her inbox. Fill in the blank______. You get the point.

When it comes to the personal-really-matters stuff of life we don’t seem to learn from our mistakes. Most of us get on the merry-go-round of life and do the same thing over and over again expecting different results. Albert Einstein describes this action as insanity.

When you’re on a merry-go-round [of life], you miss a lot of the scenery.

—Neil Diamond, emphasis added

Here is the in your face rub…

What A Stump Can Teach Us About Pride

So what is pride? If you Google ‘definition of pride’ your browser will tell you that pride is a feeling or deep pleasure or satisfaction derived from one’s own achievements, the achievements of those with whom one is closely associated, or from qualities or possessions that are widely admired.

Ok, got it…so what’s the big deal?

Before we walk this out, it’s important to point out that there is a difference between the kind of pride that God hates (Proverbs 8:13) and the kind of pride we feel about a job well done, being proud of our kids, etc. The kind of pride that stems from self-righteousness is sin, and God hates it because it is a big hindrance to seeking Him.

You don’t have to be in a leadership role to struggle with pride, because we all struggle with it. In some context of your life, we are all setup by what we have, who we know, what we can do and what we can do — and there are so many options on the remote control of life that programs us for pride.

From a young age it was easy for me to take the remote control of my own life; point it at myself and select prosperity, position and power. It didn’t take long to feel the rush of this new found pride that began to take root in my life. With pride as my rudder I quickly moved up the ranks and was promoted to the position of Vice President in my mid-thirties of a global billion dollar company, which was rich and fertile soil for my pride to grow. I had the miracle grow of pride.

I share some of that story in this excerpt from my book Heartstone:

Why Gender Reassignment And Altering Pronouns Won’t Change Who Bruce Jenner Is

By now most people on the planet have seen the picture of the “new” Bruce Jenner on the upcoming cover of Vanity Fair. As a Dad who is raising a son to be man, the very idea that culture is praising Bruce Jenner for his so-called “brave” and “courageous” decision is such a foreign idea to me.

I remember Bruce Jenner winning the decathlon in Montreal Canada in 1976 making him the male athlete of the year — the guy got on the Wheaties box! When I look at the upcoming cover of vanity fair I see a man plastered with makeup, hair extensions and wearing who-knows-what-that-is. His entire persona has been artificially altered by hormone pills, Photoshop, and plastic surgery.

What happened?

There’s a tremendous amount of buzz in the mainstream media and social media spaces, but here are some items that caught my attention. The White House said that President Obama believes Bruce Jenner’s transition into Caitlyn shows “tremendous courage.” Bruce Jenner’s “female” alter ego Caitlyn got over a million Twitter followers in four hours. Wikipedia has already gender altered the history and lifestyle of Bruce Jenner. Caitlyn Jenner will receive the Arthur Ashe Courage Award at the ESPN Espy’s this year.

Really?

There are so many thoughts swirling around in my head right now, but I want unpack some of them as I feel they are very important in the conversation of today’s culture.

1 Major Thing You Didn’t Know About Success

For most, our lives look great on the outside but are a complete mess on the inside. As we walk life out, we become really really good at hiding the mess of who we really are. You know, that big house, fancy car, designer clothes, that vacation house, fill in the blank ______. Not saying that all stuff is necessarily bad, but in the process of hiding behind all this stuff we not only become slaves to it — we get buried by it.

Most of us have a messy life whether we choose to acknowledge it or not. The good news…you’re in good company, just throw a dart anywhere in the Bible and you will find someone with a messy life.

My dart landed in the story of Zacchaeus. He was a chief tax-collector and was only mentioned in the Gospel of Luke (Luke 19:1-9). Most of us remember the story of him climbing a Sycamore tree to get a glimpse of Jesus, but not so much as an example of a messy life.

So, why is Zacchaeus a great reminder of our messy lives? Let’s take a deeper dive and explore this a bit more.

Why The Easiest Person To Deceive Is Yourself

Can you remember a time in your life when you acted impulsively and later came to regret it? Maybe you impulsively ran out and bought a new car after being convinced from a TV commercial that it was exactly what you needed and soon regretted that decision because you really couldn’t make the payments. Maybe it was the mortgage you signed without reading it carefully because you needed to have that new mansion of a house with a swimming pool, a golf-course lawn, and all the furnishings to maintain your image — just to realize that you are now a slave to it. Maybe it was that new job you took because it paid more, but later you discovered the reality that the grass isn’t always greener on the other side. Whatever the decision may have been, you regretted it later.

If you go back to that greatest regret in life, what would it be? Think about that for a minute and then think about how could you have avoided it.

Should I have had that last drink? Should I have gone to lunch with that woman (as a married man)? Should I have watched that pornographic movie on that business trip? Should I have spent our life savings at the Black Jack table? Should I have gone to that party? Should I have (or not have) [fill in the blank]?

See then that you walk circumspectly, not as fools but as wise, redeeming the time, because the days are evil. Therefore do not be unwise, but understand what the will of the Lord is.

—Ephesians 5:15-17

What is Paul trying to tell us here?

3 Self Imposed Obstacles To Starting Over

What A Stump Can Teach Us About Pride

Why Gender Reassignment And Altering Pronouns Won’t Change Who Bruce Jenner Is

1 Major Thing You Didn’t Know About Success

Why The Easiest Person To Deceive Is Yourself

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Never Out Of The Fight!

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