See to it that no one falls short of the grace of God and that no bitter root grows up to cause trouble and defile many. -Hebrews 12:15

We are commanded to get rid of all bitterness in our lives and to forgive others.

Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.-Ephesians 4:31, 32

Forgiving others (and ourselves) is essential for our own freedom and walk with the Lord. Think about this…if there is any unforgiveness and bitterness in you, satan will most certainly capitalize on it because he has right of traffic in all areas of darkness!

Anyone you forgive, I also forgive. And what I have forgiven—if there was anything to forgive—I have forgiven in the sight of Christ for your sake, in order that Satan might not outwit us. For we are not unaware of his schemes. -2 Corinthians 2:10,11

Let’s take a deeper dive into forgiveness:

Forgiveness and forgetting are not the same

It’s human nature to want to forget all the bad stuff that happened to us or that was done to us. I’m not sure about you, but forgetting is a difficult thing to do. Do not get stuck in the trap of putting off forgiving those who wronged you or hurt you, hoping the pain will instantly be removed. Once you choose to forgive, Jesus Christ will begin the healing process within you – this process starts with forgiveness.

Forgiveness is a choice

Since God requires us to forgive, it is something we are able to do. This is hard, because we want revenge for our suffering, right? So often we want to become the judge, we want to control the outcome and we don’t give it to God.

Do not take revenge, my dear friends, but leave room for God’s wrath, for it is written: “It is mine to avenge; I will repay,” says the Lord. -Romans 12:19

We need to let God deal with the person who wronged or hurt you. Let go and let them off the hook because the longer you choose to forgive you are essentially hooked to that person. We need to trust God that He will deal w/ the person justly and fairly, something we simply are not capable of doing in our own strength.

Forgive others for your sake so you can become free from your past.

Forgiveness is agreeing to live with the consequences of the other person’s sin

This does not seem fair, but we all have to live with the consequences of other people’s sin whether we like it or not. We have two choices; to live in the bondage of bitterness or in the freedom of forgiveness!

The cross makes forgiveness legally and morally right. Jesus dies once for all our sins. He took the eternal consequences of sin upon Himself.

God made him who had no sin to be sin for us, so that in him we might become the righteousness of God. -2 Corinthians 5:21

Do not wait for the other person to ask for forgiveness

Jesus did not wait for those who were crucifying Him to apologize before He forgave them.

Jesus said, “Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing.” And they divided up his clothes by casting lots. – Luke 23:34

If our actions or attitudes have brought hurt to another person there may be a need to go to that person and make right any wrong to break the destructive patterns in our relationships. God has forgiven us for the wrong the first time we ask. But to break the cycle of reaping from what we have sown and to begin restoring trust it is often necessary to make every effort to bring healing to others and to seek to restore the fractured relationship. Even if we feel the other person is 98% wrong and we are only 2% wrong, we are 100% responsible to walk in forgiveness and repentance for our 2%. (Matthew 5:22-26; Psalm 109:17-19, 29).ⁱ

Forgive from your heart

Allow God to bring the painful memories to the surface! If your forgiveness doesn’t touch the emotional core of your life, it will not be complete.

Godly repentance always involves action. It is not just emotions and tears. It is to be so grieved at the wounding and stress that our actions and attitudes have brought to others that now we are willing to humble ourselves and do whatever it takes to restore healthy relationships ⁱ:

• It is to be so grieved at the hurt that our actions and attitudes have brought to others that now we are willing to humble ourselves and do whatever it takes to restore healthy relationships
• It comes to hate the destructive habit patterns that have misrepresented God’s love and grace to others
• It becomes more concerned with others’ needs than our own pride and walls of self-protection
• It is willing to lay down the need to be right in order to see healing in those whom we have hurt or offended
• It chooses to walk in openness and transparency, and willingly comes forward and acknowledges our sin against love and how we have hurt or offended others
• It does not seek to make excuses, seek to put the blame on others, or diminish the depth of our self-deception or fear of intimacy with which we have struggled
• It takes the focus off of ourselves (self-pity) and begins to focus our energy upon humility, confession, forgiveness, repentance, and healing the pain that we have caused others

Forgiveness is choosing not to hold someone’s sin against them

It is common for bitter people to bring up past issues with those who have wronged or hurt them. Let go of the past, take up anchor and let the ship sail into today!

Don’t wait until you feel like forgiving

If you wait, you will NEVER forgive! Once you choose to forgive, Satan will loose his power over you in that area.

Bottom line…forgiveness says, “It was wrong, it mattered, and I release you!”

Is there anyone you need to forgive?