Planning and providing is part of a man’s leadership role in his home. Sadly many men often misplace their vision and focus on things such as; a house, car, boat, money, rising up the corporate ladder, guy stuff, fill in the blank ________.

Sound familiar?

One of the passions I have is reaching people who have lost themselves to prosperity, power, and position. Whether we know it or not guys, we all ask the basic question “do I have what it takes?” We want to know from our fathers that we have what it takes and when they’re not around or emotionally unavailable, this question often goes unanswered. So, what do we do? We pursue everything else for that validation. We don’t even look for it from God!

Because this question eluded me and I didn’t lean into God, I ended up pulling a Maverick — I crashed and burned! After a devastating “life shaking”, God got me off my “pity potty” and taught me how to man up — and He is coming for you!

So for all the dads (or soon to be dads) out there here are 7 tips to get you thinking before it’s too late, so listen up.

1) Encourage your kids and work on their self-image EVERY day. Be a solid role model for them!

2) Be PRESENT in their lives and get interested in what they are interested in! Guys, it’s not their responsibility to make sure they have a relationship with their dad so take ownership of that.

Gut check: Are you your son’s first hero? Are you your daughter’s first love? No? …why not?

3) Big one here guys…your DAUGHTERS need you just as much as your son’s do, so man up!!!

4) Having time with your kids might be tough because of divorce, misplaced priorities or being too busy with work (which you need to stop!) but make sure the moments you have together count for something — and let those moments be about THEM and not YOU! Oh and PUT DOWN your phone, turn off the tv, stop playing that video game and stop saying you are too busy or you too tired. You only have a short time with your kids, so make the moments with them count!

5) There are unforgettable moments being a dad, like when when your kid walks for the first time, calls you “daddy” for the first time or “takes the stage” (sports, dance, play, etc.) and gives a performance so awesome you cannot believe they are yours — moments that make life worth living. Guys, these moments are the stuff we were put on this Earth to experience. Don’t miss these moments!

6) Have to admit that being a dad is a daily battle, BUT the impact of being present and showing up, day after day after day is huge. The impact is immeasurable!

7) Put energy into your relationship with your spouse (be a student of your wife) and your kids — make them a priority. Men, our wives and kids are begging us to be a significant part of their lives and to lead them with true leadership. Oh and if your divorced, man up and STOP verbally kicking your ex-wife in the teeth in front of your kids – she is still their mother so respect that!

I am not saying that success in-and-of-itself is bad. I am saying that people spend so much time and energy pursuing success trying to become something that others would value. In the end of this pursuit to be validated, people loose themselves and end up being owned by it.

Some advice that I learned the hard way…be careful what you’re building because as Kris Vallotton shares, “You are not defined by what you build, you are revealed by it.”

Am I striking any chords here? Are you struggling in any of these areas? Men, can you relate?

Oh, by the way here is the video from the article graphic. It’s me and the kids riding the Xtreme Skyflyer at Kings Dominion. It’s a bit old, but still fun to watch.

Ok, back to the article…

Being a dad is awesome. But, being a dad can be tough when you don’t have the skills you need. Let this series be your first step in becoming a better dad and becoming the man God created you to be!

• Core dump of everything I’ve written about being a dad and fatherhood!
• What Guardians Of The Galaxy Can Teach Us About Fatherhood
• 3 Super Bowl Ads That Challenged Today’s Culture
• Being A Dad Doesn’t End After Divorce!
• Do Dads Matter?
• Finally, A Commercial That Promotes Fatherhood
• Be An Avenger Dad
• [Podcast] What “Cats In The Cradle” Can Teach Us About Being A Dad
• How To Become A Navy Seal Without Joining The Military
• How To Become A Man Of Steel
• The Great Career Hoax!
• Warning: Dad’s Failing To Pass The Mantle
• Turning Point
• Daddy, Carry Me!
• My Dad
• Why Is Integrity So Important?

• [Series] Answering The Question, “Where Have All The Men Gone?”