I remember that day when I walked into the kitchen of her mom’s house and sat down across the table from my daughter. Looking into the her eyes there was an awkward silence, as she fought to stop the tears from welling up.

Not knowing what was coming next, my countenance drifted towards concern. She seemed overwhelmed with fear as her eyes were affixed on the floor. Still holding back her tears the words came…”Dad, I’m pregnant.”

Her mother sat beside me at the table as emotions broke the heavy silence. I sat there bewildered as a waterfall of thoughts rushed through my head like class 5 rapids. Half way through college and beginning her passage into adulthood…getting pregnant was not part of anyone’s five-year plan.

After a long silent pause, I collected my thoughts and shared my commitment to be there for her and the baby. I also reaffirmed to her that there was a Father in heaven who loves her unconditionally and a dad down here who does too.

On the ride home still trying to piece it all together, I reached out to my friend and mentor who gave me the comforting words I needed from Heaven’s throne. “Tim, this is part of God’s plan for your daughter’s life and He is with her. This baby will usher in the beginning of a new and joyful life for all who get to know her. As odd as this may sound, this baby is God’s lifeline to your daughter.”

Thankfully, through my good friend, my heavenly Father began to quiet my inner turmoil and the storm started to subside.

Roll the tape forward a bit…

My daughter gave birth to our first grandchild in August of 2013 and she shares the same birthday as my mom. Definitely a God wink. We will be celebrating her 2nd birthday this week and since God blessed us with this gift from above, she is bringing so much joy and healing to all who step into her space.

Of course God was right…isn’t He always? The birth of my granddaughter is changing my daughter’s life, in a good way, and has began a journey of grandfathering that is continuing to change my life. I was a very preoccupied father as my kids were growing up — always chasing position, power and prosperity. I struggled with many of my own insecurities, always trying to live up to the expectations of others and losing sight of the people that mattered most in my life. I often allowed all the wrong stuff in my life to determine my identity and significance in the world. Over the years, this significantly impacted how I related with people in my life. In a crazy sort of way, through my granddaughter, I’m getting a “do over” from God.

One of the big life lessons I am learning through my granddaughter is that family really is a true expression of God’s heart. It’s so sad to see the family unit erode over the years. Since my divorce, my kids getting their dad back and God blessing me with a granddaughter — I have determined, with God’s help, that I will live a life that will leave a legacy. A legacy that will echo now and for eternity.

Hey men…whether you’re a dad, a grandfather, or not…it’s never too late to leave a legacy in the lives of those who matter most to you. Especially your kids!

Maybe you’ve been caught up in the jet stream of life, leaving little room for those that matter. Maybe you’ve messed up big, blown it and convinced yourself that there is no turning back. Maybe like me, you too need a “do over”. I share these words to stir up the hearts of all the men out there that you CAN make a difference and you CAN leave a legacy! Don’t fear all your life failures, fear spending the rest of your life succeeding at what doesn’t matter in the end.

You’re kids and grand kids are desperate for your legacy. So stop focusing on all the things that don’t really matter and leave them one!

Quick update: My daughter went on to finish up a double major in college and has become one of the best mom’s I know. Me? …I just adore this little angel and I love being a Grandfather (aka Bampy)!