As our church men’s group worked through week nine of our Stepping Up series, we learned the metaphor of the arrow in reference to having a clear vision for our family and specifically our children.

Have you ever shot an arrow? You take an arrow out of your quiver, you place it into position on the bow, you pull back looking down the length of the arrow…waiting for the target to come into focus before you launch it. It’s awesome! Hitting your target with an arrow requires skill, strength, patience and a calming focus. The destiny of the arrow is completely dependent on many factors.

Ok, so what does this have to do with vision or children for that matter?

Psalm 127:4-5 punctuates the importance of children, training them up well and launching them into the world. Unfortunately, most men are too self-absorbed in their own empire building and have no idea what it means to have a vision for their family — their children. Men, we have a huge responsibility if we have children. We need to love them, protect them and train them up before we set them free. Also, they are the ones who will continue your legacy. Neil Postman nails it, “children are the living messages we send to a time we will not see.”

That’s why its so important to have a well defined target before we launch them. Powerful stuff!

In order to hit the target, we must first clearly identify the target (goal), then we must have clear line of sight of the target (vision) and then we need to consider all the internal and external factors that will affect our efforts and adjust accordingly. In a nutshell it takes intentionality, guidance and focus.

God blessed me with two amazing children — two very important arrows in my quiver. As you read this excerpt from Heartstone ask yourself, did I have a well defined target? Did I have clear line of sight of the target? And, did I consider external factors? Here is the excerpt:

I convinced myself that I was in complete control of the world I created and that I was absolutely untouchable as long as I had my stuff to hide behind. With broad brushstrokes, I painted this far-fetched illusion that I alone was the motivating force behind all this success.

Arrogantly striving to live up to the expectations of this performance-oriented view of the world, I built a present-day tower of Babel with my own hands—stone by stone. I learned the difficult lesson that a preoccupation with “self” distorts our perspective to view everything and everyone primarily based on the way they affect us in the moment. My relationships became more and more self-serving, and success, position, and material possessions became my security and my reality. The extent of this foolishness did not leave much space for my family and God in my fractured and fragmented life. At this stage in my life, God was simply a convenience, and I hid behind the misused word Christian as so many of us do. James Hudson Taylor, the English missionary to China, tells it like it is, “Christ is either Lord of all, or He is not Lord at all.”

Our internal and external reality must be centered in God.

With this foolish and self-centered attitude, I created a god that only met my selfish needs, and sadly enough, I was OK with that for much of my life. We have our iPods, our iPads and sadly we have our iGods. I was completely consumed by the disease of self, and it raced through my veins, eating away at my very soul like cancer.

Good understanding wins favor, but the way of the unfaithful is hard. —Proverbs 13:15 (NIV)

We grumble that living life God’s way is too tough, too boring, or for some reason, we will miss out on something while we destroy ourselves walking the road of the devil.

The natural life in each of us is something self-centered, something that wants to be petted and admired, to take advantage of other lives, to exploit the whole universe. —C. S. Lewis

If you start thinking to yourselves, “I did all this. And all by myself. I’m rich. It’s all mine!” — well, think again. Remember that GOD, your God, gave you the strength to produce all this wealth so as to confirm the covenant that he promised to your ancestors—as it is today. If you forget, forget GOD, your God, and start taking up with other gods, serving and worshiping them, I’m on record right now as giving you firm warning: that will be the end of you; I mean it—destruction. You’ll go to your doom—the same as the nations GOD is destroying before you; doom because you wouldn’t obey the Voice of GOD, your God. —Deuteronomy 8:17–20 (MSG)

So, did I have a well defined target? Did I have clear line of sight of the target? And, did I consider the internal and external factors?

No I didn’t!

Psalm 127 verse 4 starts with, “like arrows in the hand of a warrior.” A warrior is someone who is disciplined, who has had extensive training and someone who has a clear target in mind. An arrow is most effective with a clear and defined target. I had two and only two arrows in my quiver, but I did not have well defined targets to launch them out at. In my naiveté I convinced myself that I was in complete control and could do this on my own. Just fire the arrows, right? How hard could it be?

I have learned that if a man is to have a clear plan and vision for his family and his children, there has to be proper order. First and most important — God has to be at the center. God is the one who can teach us to identify the target. God is the one who can teach us to have clear line of sight of the target. God is the one who watches and protects our family – our children. God is the one who helps us launch the arrow in the best direction possible.

When life gets tough (and it does) are you disciplined enough to clearly keep the target in focus under stress? When your internal and external reality is not centered in God the tip of the arrow will to do everything but point at the target. Aiming and hitting your target under ideal conditions is still challenging.

Before God can teach us how to become warriors, who can effectively define and hit the target, we have to put our desire to control and our self-centerdeness aside. Remember David’s confrontation with Goliath? That was a target David could not afford to miss!

If the destiny of the arrow rested solely in our hands, hitting the target can be daunting. Having a good bow and arrows in your quiver is solid planning, but God is ultimately the one who will direct the arrows to hit their target — all the time. Leaving the destiny of the arrow in the hands of the Lord takes the stress level way down because we can trust Him to guide the arrows.

I almost blew it with my children, but with God its never too late and He is the God of another chance.

Have you ever considered this perspective of your children?

How does this view of children compare to the way children are often viewed?