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Man Up And Stop Blaming Everyone!

Ok, time for a gut check.

Are you a person that takes responsibility or a person that blames?

Are you quick to point the finger at someone else and say, “It’s your fault!”?

Ever wonder why our knee jerk reaction is to blame? Is blaming a new thing? When did it all start?

You are not a failure until you start blaming others for your mistakes.

—John Wooden

Lets dial the story back to Genesis to one that you may have heard of before. It’s a pretty famous story of a dialog between God and the first two people that ever lived — the story of Adam and Eve.

3 Ways To Break Free Of The Homer Simpson Syndrome

Turn on the television, head out to the movies or browse social media and one of the major themes is that men are witless, pointless or mere playthings to be stepped on by the entire family. Like infomercials, men are endlessly lampooned and are shown as absent or feckless fathers.

Is all fair with dads on the family front? Does culture have a blind spot when it comes to the role of men in families? Would much of the jokes aimed at fathers be banned if they were aimed at women, ethnic minorities or religious groups? Most of the men I know are devoted, hardworking and would do anything for their families. Even give up their lives to save them.

There was a time in culture when men were always the authority figure and the head of the tribe. In comparison, today’s culture is polar opposite where men are demonized and sidelined way too much. We all heard the “who wears the pants in the family” jokes but leadership in the home is no laughing matter. During the last few decades our culture has redefined the meaning and responsibilities of men and women in society and in the home. Many men have become emasculated, confused and insecure. With this new narrative taking a firm grip on society, men don’t know how to step up and lead the home anymore. Growing up, most men lacked a good role model for leadership at home and don’t have a clue of what it means to lead a family. The result, they do not lead effectively or they do not even try.

Sadly many men have become passive or lunk heads in the home. They’ve decided that the easiest thing to do is nothing and that’s exactly what they do! The simplest thing with the smallest risk is to straddle the fence and let the wife do all the heavy lifting. When a man is married to a strong wife who takes over, he often lets her do just that…take over. Come on guys!

What are we telling young boys if the examples of fatherhood they see everyday are parodies of incompetence?

8 Tips On “How To Dad” From A Cheerios Commercial

Attended a CIO conference recently and one of the keynote speakers used the Peanut Butter Cheerios #HowToDad commercial to highlight leadership. Honestly, I’ve never tried Peanut Butter Cheerios but can totally appreciate how awesome this commercial is. Not in highlighting a product but how awesome dads are and that they do matter in today’s society despite a major de-emphasis on the role.

Here’s a bit of the background story of the commercial from the creators website.

Created by Tribal Worldwide Toronto, the socially-driven campaign features an upbeat online video that celebrates the insight that dads parent differently, and places Peanut Butter Cheerios at the heart of all the zany, funny and epic situations that kids get themselves into under dad’s watch. The video then drives viewers to HowToDad.ca for bite-sized sharable content that resonates with dads. Four 15-second preroll spots, widespread display advertising and targeted promoted social posts round out the program, which is all unified under the #HowToDad tagline. “It just made sense to declare Peanut Butter Cheerios as ‘The Official Cereal of Dadhood,’ because like great dads, Peanut Butter Cheerios lie somewhere in the intersection of awesome and responsible,” says Josh Stein, creative director, Tribal Worldwide – Toronto. “Dads are awesome and it’s awesome to be a dad. The new campaign creatively acknowledges that today, dads play a significant role in raising children, and celebrate their contribution.ⁱ

At Heartstone Journey, we know more and more dads are stepping up and experiencing the satisfaction and reward of taking a more active role in the lives of our kids…and dads should be celebrated! I love this commercial because if really does a great job at portraying the reality of life of a dad and family. I also want to give a huge shout out to Tribal Worldwide because they didn’t pick the idiot dad stereotype or the passive dad routine to be “funny”…they picked an authentic dad!

This commercial shows the simple ways dads are awesome and is a reminder that dads do matter and they have an impact on the relationships with their kids. Before reading on, click play, watch the commercial and you’ll see why the campaign is awesome.

It’s Not About Religion…It’s About Relationship

Show of hands. How many times have you been in conversation with people and they want nothing to do with the story of the Gospel, because they connect it with religion?

Even though most of us don’t live out what we believe, how many Christ seekers struggle with questions like; What happens when I die? Is it ok for Christians to divorce? Do I literally have to give my local church 10% of my gross pay? Did David really sleep with another man’s wife? Is the Old Testament relevant? Does purity equal worth (woman caught in adultery)? I could go on and on!

Religion tries to answer life’s questions and more, but how does Jesus answer such questions? Growing up in the church I’ve learned that religion is more about answers, order, predictability — not about people. It’s more of a systematized theology.

If you’ve spent some time walking it out on the road of life, the experience is vividly clear that life is messy and it’s not really about any of those things. We could argue that religion has it’s place, but Jesus shows us through His time on Earth that the order of things might be off. What do I mean by that? When religion eclipses humanity, it overshadows grace and mercy with power.

When religion is in first place, leaders become self-righteous and followers become hypocrites.

—Andy Stanley

So what is religion?

Almost All Women Stand By Their Men; Very Few Men Stand By Their Women

I just came in from walking the dog on a beautiful New England Sunday afternoon to write this weeks article, when I started to rummage through one of my journals to figure out what to write about. Among the almost illegible handwritten notes and papers stuffed between the pages a pamphlet fell out titled, “Living By Vows”

After taking a few moments to read through it I was really touched by the love and commitment the author demonstrated to his ailing wife. I share this because I spent the morning with my fiance enjoying a nice breakfast at a local coffee shop in downtown Concord, NH and I find this pamphlet timely as we begin to write our vows.

In a society where many marriages have been reduced to a contract with an exit clause or a “whats in it for me” proposition, I hope sharing the powerful message reorients us to whats really important and the power of our spoken words “I do!” After Columbia International University’s President Robertson McQuilkin’s wife was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s disease, these were his ruminations back in 1990 on what he had learned from his years of ministering to her, and being ministered to in return.

Man Up And Stop Blaming Everyone!

3 Ways To Break Free Of The Homer Simpson Syndrome

8 Tips On “How To Dad” From A Cheerios Commercial

It’s Not About Religion…It’s About Relationship

Almost All Women Stand By Their Men; Very Few Men Stand By Their Women

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