featured | Heartstone Journey

3 Self Imposed Obstacles To Starting Over

Cruising up Route 89 on my way to work, I was listening to an Andy Stanley podcast, “Starting Over, Part One – Three Myths” enjoying the beautiful mountain scenery of New Hampshire while sipping on a much needed cup of coffee.

The message really hit home because it reminded me of of my own journey of “starting over” after my divorce. The whole experience sucked but I remember the transition of having to leave the comfort of my own house; then living a very transient lifestyle from a basement floor, to the top of a barn, to a single room, to small apartment at the back of an Inn, to a town house and years later back in a house. More about that later.

Before we dive deeper we have to backup a bit and ask the questions, “why do so many of us have to start over? ..and why don’t we get it right on round two, three, etc?” We can debate a bunch of reasons, but the one that typically stands out is that we made some crazy mistake in life and we never learn the lesson.

Have you ever noticed that we quickly learn from our mistakes in the areas that matter least in life? Sending that embarrassing auto-corrected text. Inadvertently sending that “not for your boss’s eyes” email right into his/her inbox. Fill in the blank______. You get the point.

When it comes to the personal-really-matters stuff of life we don’t seem to learn from our mistakes. Most of us get on the merry-go-round of life and do the same thing over and over again expecting different results. Albert Einstein describes this action as insanity.

When you’re on a merry-go-round [of life], you miss a lot of the scenery.

—Neil Diamond, emphasis added

Here is the in your face rub…

One Thing Social Media Got Right About The Decision On Gay Marriage, #LoveWins!

On June 26, 2015 a deeply divided Supreme Court of the United States handed down a ruling that redefined marriage on a national level, effecting every state. I will admit that I do not agree with this decision, I question it’s Constitutionality and its a sober moment for me. We can debate this all day long, but I believe that Supreme Court disregarded thousands of years of definition of the most foundational unit of society to answer what many are calling a shift in culture.

Notwithstanding which side of this you land on, the popularity of this event has taken front stage on social media, traditional media and the world stage. The White House and many other building around the world have been lit up in rainbow colors in celebration of this decisions around gay rights.

Making something popular doesn’t make it true!

—Bill Johnson

The reactions I’ve seen on social media ranged from expected, surprising, passionate, energetic, disappointing and just downright nasty. Some are rejoicing, some are confused, some are losing hope and some are lashing out with a narrative of decline and hate. Many who call themselves followers of Jesus Christ feel like they just got punched in the gut and are wondering how they should respond to this decision and how they should engage in the broader conversation.

My intent of writing this article is to think through how to respond as the Church when the law of the land and culture fundamentally changes the perspective of marriage and many other issues. Spending some time listening to conversations, reading headlines, doing some research and some soul searching…I started asking myself some questions that many of us might be asking whether we know it or not. Does this decision mean that the sky is falling? Does this decision mean that God abdicated His throne? Does this decision rewrite the Bible? Does this decision mean that a shift in culture trivializes God’s word? What does this mean for churches? Does this decision mean that we should lose hope?

To begin to answer these, let’s dial things back a bit.

What A Stump Can Teach Us About Pride

So what is pride? If you Google ‘definition of pride’ your browser will tell you that pride is a feeling or deep pleasure or satisfaction derived from one’s own achievements, the achievements of those with whom one is closely associated, or from qualities or possessions that are widely admired.

Ok, got it…so what’s the big deal?

Before we walk this out, it’s important to point out that there is a difference between the kind of pride that God hates (Proverbs 8:13) and the kind of pride we feel about a job well done, being proud of our kids, etc. The kind of pride that stems from self-righteousness is sin, and God hates it because it is a big hindrance to seeking Him.

You don’t have to be in a leadership role to struggle with pride, because we all struggle with it. In some context of your life, we are all setup by what we have, who we know, what we can do and what we can do — and there are so many options on the remote control of life that programs us for pride.

From a young age it was easy for me to take the remote control of my own life; point it at myself and select prosperity, position and power. It didn’t take long to feel the rush of this new found pride that began to take root in my life. With pride as my rudder I quickly moved up the ranks and was promoted to the position of Vice President in my mid-thirties of a global billion dollar company, which was rich and fertile soil for my pride to grow. I had the miracle grow of pride.

I share some of that story in this excerpt from my book Heartstone:

Hey Dads, Get Your Head Out Of Your @$$ And Listen Up! [Series]

Planning and providing is part of a man’s leadership role in his home. Sadly many men often misplace their vision and focus on things such as; a house, car, boat, money, rising up the corporate ladder, guy stuff, fill in the blank ________.

Sound familiar?

One of the passions I have is reaching people who have lost themselves to prosperity, power, and position. Whether we know it or not guys, we all ask the basic question “do I have what it takes?” We want to know from our fathers that we have what it takes and when they’re not around or emotionally unavailable, this question often goes unanswered. So, what do we do? We pursue everything else for that validation. We don’t even look for it from God!

Because this question eluded me and I didn’t lean into God, I ended up pulling a Maverick — I crashed and burned! After a devastating “life shaking”, God got me off my “pity potty” and taught me how to man up — and He is coming for you!

As Christ comes out of the water, His Father speaks validation. His voice ripped away the religious drapery and the Father said, ‘Jesus, you are the real deal. You have what it takes.’ And this is right at the moment Christ is about to launch into his mission. When we show that image to men, they see that God will speak to them the same way. We are sons of God and He will validate us.

—John Eldredge

So for all the dads (or soon to be dads) out there here are 7 tips to get you thinking before it’s too late, so listen up.

Why Gender Reassignment And Altering Pronouns Won’t Change Who Bruce Jenner Is

By now most people on the planet have seen the picture of the “new” Bruce Jenner on the upcoming cover of Vanity Fair. As a Dad who is raising a son to be man, the very idea that culture is praising Bruce Jenner for his so-called “brave” and “courageous” decision is such a foreign idea to me.

I remember Bruce Jenner winning the decathlon in Montreal Canada in 1976 making him the male athlete of the year — the guy got on the Wheaties box! When I look at the upcoming cover of vanity fair I see a man plastered with makeup, hair extensions and wearing who-knows-what-that-is. His entire persona has been artificially altered by hormone pills, Photoshop, and plastic surgery.

What happened?

There’s a tremendous amount of buzz in the mainstream media and social media spaces, but here are some items that caught my attention. The White House said that President Obama believes Bruce Jenner’s transition into Caitlyn shows “tremendous courage.” Bruce Jenner’s “female” alter ego Caitlyn got over a million Twitter followers in four hours. Wikipedia has already gender altered the history and lifestyle of Bruce Jenner. Caitlyn Jenner will receive the Arthur Ashe Courage Award at the ESPN Espy’s this year.

Really?

There are so many thoughts swirling around in my head right now, but I want unpack some of them as I feel they are very important in the conversation of today’s culture.

3 Self Imposed Obstacles To Starting Over

One Thing Social Media Got Right About The Decision On Gay Marriage, #LoveWins!

What A Stump Can Teach Us About Pride

Hey Dads, Get Your Head Out Of Your @$$ And Listen Up! [Series]

Why Gender Reassignment And Altering Pronouns Won’t Change Who Bruce Jenner Is

Favorite Quotes

Cool Scripture

Never Out Of The Fight!

Resources