life | Heartstone Journey

Battle With Worship

Is life punching you in the face today? Are you in need of provision in some area of your life? Are you dealing with serious hardships? Have you lost your job or dealing with others struggles?

Watching the news and reading the headlines there seems to be so many things out there that threaten us. But our biggest enemy — fear — is not “out there.” The fear is in our own hearts and minds. When we let this fear tighten its grip on us, we struggle that much harder to break free.

When the heaviness of life begins to crack the support beams we’ve put in place to shelter us, sometimes the only thing left is to posture ourselves before our awesome God and worship Him!

Worship is an act of war against the enemy of our hearts!

—Holley Gerth

Psalm 73 (My Version)

God is so good, but I allowed the culture and the lies of the world to dull my senses and blind me over time so I almost missed seeing His goodness. I foolishly took my eyes off Him and became intoxicated by people in high places, envying the success of those who have made it to the top and desperately seeking this to define my own identity. I believed that these people worried about nothing, and their status and wealth provided them with the comfort of not having a care in the world.

What I couldn’t see beneath the veil was their conceit and arrogance, how selfish they were at the core, their uncaring hearts, their aggressively doing whatever it took for them to get what they wanted with no regard for others, their evil conceit that knew no limits, their being friendly to your face and mocking you to others behind your back. In their arrogance, they would threaten oppression and destroy the peace. People actually listened to them — I actually listened to them — can you believe it?

What’s going on? God, where are You? Can’t You see what’s going on down here? God, why do I suffer though I live for You? Why do those who deny You have it better than I do? Everywhere I looked I felt the sorrow and the pain of empty living. This is giving me a headache…

How I Collided With Destiny, In the Silence Of Life

Have you ever noticed how much noise there is around us?

Silence in the world we live in is a very rare commodity. There seems to always be someone or something competing for our time and our silence is invaded from every direction if we let it.

Why is this a concern for you and me? Because God does some some of His best and most powerful work in us, in the silence. Why is this difficult for us? Because we often choose to be at war with our silence and seem avoid it at all cost. Quick test: I bet that you take your smartphone/tablet into the bathroom with you — don’t you?

Somehow we have become conditioned to never unplug!

I was in a place in my life where I had lost my hope, my family, my house, many friends, my financial resources, and almost my job, and I kept crucifying myself with the regrets of my past and the fear of my future. Well, I had had enough and determined that it would be best for me to use some of my own strength, and I decided to go on a hike. I really needed to clear my thoughts and getting up on top of the mountains usually was a great remedy. What I didn’t realize is that God was smiling a bit because He had planned this. He had known about my circumstances from the very beginning.

Here is an excerpt from my book Heartstone where I had that collision with God in the silence.

How Becoming A Grandfather Gave Me A “Do Over”

I remember that day when I walked into the kitchen of her mom’s house and sat down across the table from my daughter. Looking into the her eyes there was an awkward silence, as she fought to stop the tears from welling up.

Not knowing what was coming next, my countenance drifted towards concern. She seemed overwhelmed with fear as her eyes were affixed on the floor. Still holding back her tears the words came…”Dad, I’m pregnant.”

Her mother sat beside me at the table as emotions broke the heavy silence. I sat there bewildered as a waterfall of thoughts rushed through my head like class 5 rapids. Half way through college and beginning her passage into adulthood…getting pregnant was not part of anyone’s five-year plan.

After a long silent pause, I collected my thoughts and shared my commitment to be there for her and the baby. I also reaffirmed to her that there was a Father in heaven who loves her unconditionally and a dad down here who does too.

On the ride home still trying to piece it all together, I reached out to my friend and mentor who gave me the comforting words I needed from Heaven’s throne. “Tim, this is part of God’s plan for your daughter’s life and He is with her. This baby will usher in the beginning of a new and joyful life for all who get to know her. As odd as this may sound, this baby is God’s lifeline to your daughter.”

Thankfully, through my good friend, my heavenly Father began to quiet my inner turmoil and the storm started to subside.

Roll the tape forward a bit…

7 X 70 = Forgiveness

Your parents weren’t perfect and I meet so many adult men and women who hold a life numbing unforgiveness towards their parents. I was a member of that “not-going-to-forgive-you” gang for years.

Our parents often made it very difficult to love them growing up. They may not have been physically divorced, but it really felt like they were emotionally divorced. As kids growing up they had a front row seat to the breaking of our hearts…and they didn’t even know it.

I remember running down the hallway. Playing hide and seek. I didn’t know that I was searching for someone to notice me. I felt alone and undiscovered and old enough to understand, just when I’m supposed to be learning to love you let me doubt again

—Chris August (lyrics)

It’s tough enough to navigate life on a good day and many of us choose to carry an overstuffed sack of “unforgiveness.” God knows the pain and the price we pay for not forgiving and He wants to teach us what it means to forgive…to really forgive. Although we had tough and difficult days as a family, we had some good ones too. On my road to healing, I can now thank God so much that He used these times as my classroom to teach me how to better love and to forgive in every aspect of my life.

Battle With Worship

Psalm 73 (My Version)

How I Collided With Destiny, In the Silence Of Life

How Becoming A Grandfather Gave Me A “Do Over”

7 X 70 = Forgiveness

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Never Out Of The Fight!

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