life | Heartstone Journey

Getting Rid Of Fear Once And For All

Asked to leave the familiar security of my house, I would cry myself to sleep in a sleeping bag on the hard basement floor of my friend’s house. With my fragile, battered soul and any remaining hope ripped from me, I would simply collapse from the weight of my life. Images pounded me like the relentless, battering waves against a rocky sea shore as I replayed events in my mind. Chaos entered my life as my entire world eroded and washed away all around me. I became so completely crushed and broken that a part of me wanted to die because I couldn’t stand the torment of this deep, gut-wrenching pain. Broken and alone, I would silently drown within a puddle of my tears fading into this scene of sorrow.

My spirit ached!

The greatest blessing spiritually is the knowledge that we are destitute; until we get there Our Lord is powerless.

—Oswald Chambers

I found myself standing between fear of the unknown and the weight of my circumstances bearing down on me, which felt like the death of any remaining hope.

3 Self Imposed Obstacles To Starting Over

Cruising up Route 89 on my way to work, I was listening to an Andy Stanley podcast, “Starting Over, Part One – Three Myths” enjoying the beautiful mountain scenery of New Hampshire while sipping on a much needed cup of coffee.

The message really hit home because it reminded me of of my own journey of “starting over” after my divorce. The whole experience sucked but I remember the transition of having to leave the comfort of my own house; then living a very transient lifestyle from a basement floor, to the top of a barn, to a single room, to small apartment at the back of an Inn, to a town house and years later back in a house. More about that later.

Before we dive deeper we have to backup a bit and ask the questions, “why do so many of us have to start over? ..and why don’t we get it right on round two, three, etc?” We can debate a bunch of reasons, but the one that typically stands out is that we made some crazy mistake in life and we never learn the lesson.

Have you ever noticed that we quickly learn from our mistakes in the areas that matter least in life? Sending that embarrassing auto-corrected text. Inadvertently sending that “not for your boss’s eyes” email right into his/her inbox. Fill in the blank______. You get the point.

When it comes to the personal-really-matters stuff of life we don’t seem to learn from our mistakes. Most of us get on the merry-go-round of life and do the same thing over and over again expecting different results. Albert Einstein describes this action as insanity.

When you’re on a merry-go-round [of life], you miss a lot of the scenery.

—Neil Diamond, emphasis added

Here is the in your face rub…

Why Gender Reassignment And Altering Pronouns Won’t Change Who Bruce Jenner Is

By now most people on the planet have seen the picture of the “new” Bruce Jenner on the upcoming cover of Vanity Fair. As a Dad who is raising a son to be man, the very idea that culture is praising Bruce Jenner for his so-called “brave” and “courageous” decision is such a foreign idea to me.

I remember Bruce Jenner winning the decathlon in Montreal Canada in 1976 making him the male athlete of the year — the guy got on the Wheaties box! When I look at the upcoming cover of vanity fair I see a man plastered with makeup, hair extensions and wearing who-knows-what-that-is. His entire persona has been artificially altered by hormone pills, Photoshop, and plastic surgery.

What happened?

There’s a tremendous amount of buzz in the mainstream media and social media spaces, but here are some items that caught my attention. The White House said that President Obama believes Bruce Jenner’s transition into Caitlyn shows “tremendous courage.” Bruce Jenner’s “female” alter ego Caitlyn got over a million Twitter followers in four hours. Wikipedia has already gender altered the history and lifestyle of Bruce Jenner. Caitlyn Jenner will receive the Arthur Ashe Courage Award at the ESPN Espy’s this year.

Really?

There are so many thoughts swirling around in my head right now, but I want unpack some of them as I feel they are very important in the conversation of today’s culture.

Harold Thurman Whitman

Don’t ask yourself what the world needs ask yourself what makes you come alive, and then go do it. Because what the world needs is people who have come alive.

Why Waldo And Bigfoot Are Better At Hide-N-Seek Than God

Ever notice this pattern? People do bad stuff to us -> we retreat from life -> God where are you? -> we project our pain onto God!

Life sucks. I’m being bullied. I lost my job, my house, my car, fill in the blank______. He/she divorced me. I was abused physically and sexually. I could go on-and-on listing life’s hurts and pain.

When we feel the pain of life and the hurts of others, we blame God. God how could you let this happen? God, why did you do do this to me? God, where the @#!$$!! are you?

People continue to hurt us, the blame-God-game continues, we retreat and build walls of hate around us thinking that somehow they will protect us. How do we get to the place where we have so much hatred for God?

Getting Rid Of Fear Once And For All

3 Self Imposed Obstacles To Starting Over

Why Gender Reassignment And Altering Pronouns Won’t Change Who Bruce Jenner Is

Harold Thurman Whitman

Why Waldo And Bigfoot Are Better At Hide-N-Seek Than God

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Never Out Of The Fight!

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