Turn on the television, head out to the movies or browse social media and one of the major themes is that men are witless, pointless or mere playthings to be stepped on by the entire family. Like infomercials, men are endlessly lampooned and are shown as absent or feckless fathers.

Is all fair with dads on the family front? Does culture have a blind spot when it comes to the role of men in families? Would much of the jokes aimed at fathers be banned if they were aimed at women, ethnic minorities or religious groups? Most of the men I know are devoted, hardworking and would do anything for their families. Even give up their lives to save them.

There was a time in culture when men were always the authority figure and the head of the tribe. In comparison, today’s culture is polar opposite where men are demonized and sidelined way too much. We all heard the “who wears the pants in the family” jokes but leadership in the home is no laughing matter. During the last few decades our culture has redefined the meaning and responsibilities of men and women in society and in the home. Many men have become emasculated, confused and insecure. With this new narrative taking a firm grip on society, men don’t know how to step up and lead the home anymore. Growing up, most men lacked a good role model for leadership at home and don’t have a clue of what it means to lead a family. The result, they do not lead effectively or they do not even try.

Sadly many men have become passive or lunk heads in the home. They’ve decided that the easiest thing to do is nothing and that’s exactly what they do! The simplest thing with the smallest risk is to straddle the fence and let the wife do all the heavy lifting. When a man is married to a strong wife who takes over, he often lets her do just that…take over. Come on guys!

What are we telling young boys if the examples of fatherhood they see everyday are parodies of incompetence?

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