relationship | Heartstone Journey

It’s Not About Religion…It’s About Relationship

Show of hands. How many times have you been in conversation with people and they want nothing to do with the story of the Gospel, because they connect it with religion?

Even though most of us don’t live out what we believe, how many Christ seekers struggle with questions like; What happens when I die? Is it ok for Christians to divorce? Do I literally have to give my local church 10% of my gross pay? Did David really sleep with another man’s wife? Is the Old Testament relevant? Does purity equal worth (woman caught in adultery)? I could go on and on!

Religion tries to answer life’s questions and more, but how does Jesus answer such questions? Growing up in the church I’ve learned that religion is more about answers, order, predictability — not about people. It’s more of a systematized theology.

If you’ve spent some time walking it out on the road of life, the experience is vividly clear that life is messy and it’s not really about any of those things. We could argue that religion has it’s place, but Jesus shows us through His time on Earth that the order of things might be off. What do I mean by that? When religion eclipses humanity, it overshadows grace and mercy with power.

When religion is in first place, leaders become self-righteous and followers become hypocrites.

—Andy Stanley

So what is religion?

Almost All Women Stand By Their Men; Very Few Men Stand By Their Women

I just came in from walking the dog on a beautiful New England Sunday afternoon to write this weeks article, when I started to rummage through one of my journals to figure out what to write about. Among the almost illegible handwritten notes and papers stuffed between the pages a pamphlet fell out titled, “Living By Vows”

After taking a few moments to read through it I was really touched by the love and commitment the author demonstrated to his ailing wife. I share this because I spent the morning with my fiance enjoying a nice breakfast at a local coffee shop in downtown Concord, NH and I find this pamphlet timely as we begin to write our vows.

In a society where many marriages have been reduced to a contract with an exit clause or a “whats in it for me” proposition, I hope sharing the powerful message reorients us to whats really important and the power of our spoken words “I do!” After Columbia International University’s President Robertson McQuilkin’s wife was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s disease, these were his ruminations back in 1990 on what he had learned from his years of ministering to her, and being ministered to in return.

You Won’t Find God’s Gift Under A Tree, In A Manger Or On A Cross

Ever wonder why God would become a man, to be born in such a lowly manner, and let us treat Him the way we did? Ever wonder why Jesus would, while existing “before all things” and holding “first place in everything” (Colossians 1:17,18); would agree to come to earth as a baby, suffer the abuse He suffered, and die such a painful death? If we continue reading in Colossians we read: “For it pleased the Father that in Him all the fullness should dwell, and by Him to reconcile all things to Himself, by Him, whether things on earth or things in heaven, having made peace through the blood of His cross.”

How awesome is that?

This all happened to reconcile us to God. The tough reality is that God makes it very clear, in His word, that He is justifiably angry at humanity’s sin. All of us have sinned — and do so repeatedly. Yet He loves us sinners enough that He gave His own Son to live on earth, die on a cross, and bear sin in His own body, suffering the full weight of God’s wrath — wrath deserved by us all. Jesus paid the penalty to restore peace between God and sinners. It could not have been done any other way.

So Christmas is primarily a celebration of God’s love toward mankind. God never wanted religion (rituals, ceremony, tradition, self-righteousness, law), but an everlasting personal relationship in Truth — with us! Not emotional, time-bound, fashionable hypes, nor “visits” only in churches, but a genuine living commitment to Him. He is after our hearts!

I don’t want you to get lost in the wide scope of it all, so let me sum it up.

Every Young Woman’s Battle

As parents we all face that moment where we should have the conversation about sex with our kids. Remember if you’re not having the conversation with you’re kids, someone else is and the best place for a child to learn about sexuality is at home from those who care most about them. As a single dad, the conversation with my daughter was a bit more challenging. Where to begin that conversation was the tough part. Any single dad’s out there know what I’m talking about?

Struggling how to even approach the subject, someone recommended a book to me called, “Every Young Woman’s Battle: Guarding Your Mind, Heart, and Body in a Sex-Saturated World”. I read the book first and then gave a copy to my daughter to read when she started Junior High School. This article focuses on daughters, but there is a similar book for sons called, you guessed it, “Every Young Man’s Battle”.

Now, is this the silver bullet dad’s are looking for?

How Becoming A Grandfather Gave Me A “Do Over”

I remember that day when I walked into the kitchen of her mom’s house and sat down across the table from my daughter. Looking into the her eyes there was an awkward silence, as she fought to stop the tears from welling up.

Not knowing what was coming next, my countenance drifted towards concern. She seemed overwhelmed with fear as her eyes were affixed on the floor. Still holding back her tears the words came…”Dad, I’m pregnant.”

Her mother sat beside me at the table as emotions broke the heavy silence. I sat there bewildered as a waterfall of thoughts rushed through my head like class 5 rapids. Half way through college and beginning her passage into adulthood…getting pregnant was not part of anyone’s five-year plan.

After a long silent pause, I collected my thoughts and shared my commitment to be there for her and the baby. I also reaffirmed to her that there was a Father in heaven who loves her unconditionally and a dad down here who does too.

On the ride home still trying to piece it all together, I reached out to my friend and mentor who gave me the comforting words I needed from Heaven’s throne. “Tim, this is part of God’s plan for your daughter’s life and He is with her. This baby will usher in the beginning of a new and joyful life for all who get to know her. As odd as this may sound, this baby is God’s lifeline to your daughter.”

Thankfully, through my good friend, my heavenly Father began to quiet my inner turmoil and the storm started to subside.

Roll the tape forward a bit…

It’s Not About Religion…It’s About Relationship

Almost All Women Stand By Their Men; Very Few Men Stand By Their Women

You Won’t Find God’s Gift Under A Tree, In A Manger Or On A Cross

Every Young Woman’s Battle

How Becoming A Grandfather Gave Me A “Do Over”

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Never Out Of The Fight!

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