Wanted to share a page of of my journal from April of 2007…

A little bit of the backdrop here…I was in the middle of going through divorce and these words are “as written” and not edited.

During conversations with my Heavenly Father I often ask for Him to reveal more of Himself to me and to speak to my heart. So often, I have found that He does reveal Himself in our lives and He does speak to our hearts, but we simply miss it in all of our business; we don’t listen. Well, recently I guess I was at a place where I was ready to listen because He spoke to my heart loud and clear and I hear Him. I have to tell you that it was a tough word for me to receive, but it was a word that I needed to hear.

I have shared my journey through my valley of suffering during the season of my divorce. This moment in time has passed before my eyes, but it was during this season that God really began to reveal Himself, because I was ready to listen. It was during this season where His promises and His word became alive to me. My relationship with my Heavenly Father penetrated deep within my core and has changed my heart and my spirit forever. So yes, circumstances can change who we are forever in the Lord! His promise of redemption played out within this scene as He set me free from my own Egypt of the choices I have made, but I still seem to struggle with present circumstances. I have to be completely honest with you that one of these present circumstances that press hard against me is that I cannot see my son and daughter every day and I often find myself stuck in a place of disappointment asking the Lord why He is not doing anything about my situation.

I learned that when we focus on what the Lord is not doing or what He has not done, two things happen; it creates an offense in our lives towards the Lord and it actually justifies our unbelief. Remember when John the Baptist was in prison and he sent his disciples to confirm that Jesus was the Messiah?

Matthew 11:2, 3 When John heard in prison what Christ was doing, he sent his disciples to ask him, “Are you the one who was to come, or should we expect someone else?”

This was the man who actually baptized Jesus and now he finds himself stuck in a prison cell. Perhaps John began to focus on what the Lord was not doing, like releasing him from this prison cell. Did John feel any disappointment?

What word does Jesus give to the disciples for John to hear?

Matthew 11:4 – 6 Jesus replied, “Go back and report to John what you hear and see: The blind receive sight, the lame walk, those who have leprosy are cured, the deaf hear, the dead are raised, and the good news is preached to the poor. Blessed is the man who does not fall away on account of me.”

Blessed is the man who does not fall away on account of me. Hmmmmm…….

What is the Lord NOT DOING, RIGHT NOW, to fix our present circumstances? I learned that we need to destroy this perspective in our lives!

Maybe your having a head on collision with life right now and you’ve been asking God to intervene. I don’t know what you’re going through; addiction issue, a wayward child, sickness, financial troubles, a broken relationship, the blunt force trauma of life or [fill in the blank________]. In these tough moments how often have you felt that God missed His golden opportunity, or that He was too busy meeting the needs of others.

Maybe you feel that God waited too long. You feel that your circumstances now own you and hope seems so lifeless, that God cannot help you. When we face these frustrating delays, we automatically assume that He is denying us, neglecting us or even rejecting us. So we slip into self-pity, put the walls up, numb the pain and stay as far away from God as possible. Sound familiar?

When we allow this perspective or attitude of thought to take hold in us weeds of disappointment will grow and entangle our hearts. Left unchecked we become numb, paralyzed and blame God. The enemy loves this! I am not saying that this is easy…but we need to take these thoughts captive, destroy this attitude and rise up in the power of the name of Jesus!

With God there is always hope!

But me, I’m not giving up.
I’m sticking around to see what God will do.
I’m waiting for God to make things right.
I’m counting on God to listen to me.
(Micah 7:7, MSG)

Do you tend to focus on what God is NOT doing in your circumstances? …or what He is doing?