We are in week seven of our ten week Stepping Up series with our church men’s group. This weeks topic was about men ‘engaging with wisdom and grace’ or simply put — leadership. Why is leadership so important? Because most of us men (an women) have no clue what it really is.

When I say the word “leadership”, what does that mean to you?

At work it typically means this…

Being he boss. The perks. Money. Position. Power. Prestige. The applaud. That corner office. No one can tell me what to do. Those diplomas on the wall. Fill in the blank ________.

In the home it typically means this…

My wife must submit. My way or the highway. I’m the king! Going to “that” game is more important than being with your kids. Chasing things that we can give up. Working late. Working harder for that bigger house. My kids need to do what I say, not what I do. Fill in the blank ________.

That’s what the narrative of this world culture would have us believe, isn’t it?

What if I told you that leadership had nothing to do with you and was completely focused on others? What if I told you that it meant that the buck stops with you? What if I told you it meant being out in front leading people in the right direction with wisdom and grace?

Have you ever thought of leadership in that context? In the context of servant leadership?

If you have thought about leadership in that context, great — if not, than that’s ok too because we are going to take it a bit further…buckle up!

Defining good leadership is not an easy thing to do. Yes, there are untold number of books and many self-proclaimed leadership gurus out there that make this attempt, but not many build a foundation on “this” type of true leadership. Do you know what it is?

Biblical leadership!

Ok, wait a minute because biblical leadership is not a very clear cut topic. As you walk through the biblical stories you can find examples of great leadership such as David, Joshua, Joseph, Moses, fill in the blank ________. They had their epic successes, they had their challenges and epic failures too. The point of these stories are not to show us how lead the next strategic initiative at work or provide us with a the how-to-leadership guide at home…they are there to point us to the core of the Bible: Jesus Christ!

Iv’e been to countless leadership seminars, classes and workshops and none of them have helped to advance my leadership abilities more than looking at the life of Jesus. Biblical leadership only comes into focus when you look at the life of Christ! Don’t know where to start? Start with the book of Mark as its a book of action!

Men, lets pause and take a look at what biblical leadership is NOT!

Check out this this punch-you-in-the-face video from Pastor Mark Driscoll. Yeah he’s hit a big rough patch in his life, but who hasn’t! Anyways, its still a solid word. He calls out men at his church who have attended for years and yet still abuse, neglect, and dishonor the woman in their life. Passive men! Men lacking leadership! Mark has had enough and so should you!

Do I have your attention now?

Now that you know what biblical leadership is NOT, lets jump into Mark chapter 10 to unpack what biblical leadership is. Remember what the disciples were focused on when they signed up for this Jesus thing?

Prestige power, position; they wanted to be important — the celebrities of their time. Sound familiar to how leadership was defined at the start of this article? The disciples were no different than you and I.

What does Jesus do? He reminds them of their hypocrisy, because they wanted the same control that they despised — the Romans! After exposing their hypocrisy, Jesus gets to the core of Biblical Leadership. Mark 10:45 Jesus said, “For even the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give His life a ransom for many.”

You want to lead? Great, but…

It’s not about you! It’s about sacrificing. It’s about serving. Biblical leadership requires putting others before yourself and putting the needs of others before yours. These principles that Jesus action-ed out are hard to apply when we get in a position of power, aren’t they?

In short Biblical leadership, TRUE leadership is living out love for others! Also, its not location specific — it applies to your home life, your business life and your personal life. It applies to ALL aspects of life!

In helping us further unpack what this looks like for us men, Dr. Crawford Loritts, the Senior Pastor of Fellowship Bible Church shares these 4 leadership characteristics:

1) Brokenness (not woundedness). Gets us away from self-reliance and reliance on God. (John 15:5)
2) Uncommon communion (press into God). There is always a gap in our leadership and God is that gap! (James 1:5)
3) Servanthood as an identity. Written into the heart of a great leader is caring for the people they lead. They love them. (Philippians 2:3)
4) Radical immediate obedience. A truth worth dying for. A man’s life is defined by these truths. (Acts 20:24)

Before my life blew up through divorce, I honestly thought I was leading…but I wasn’t.

Men, soak in this song from Sanctus Real and make it your prayer. Its what our wives and our kids are begging us to do — lead them with true leadership.

Leadership is only given as a platform to serve and to love others, not as a position or a title.

Why is servant leadership at home and in the workplace so rare?

How can you do a better job at becoming a servant leader?

Men, may you truly lead your families with wisdom and grace!