The big assumption on this topic is that romance is something exclusive to women, which doesn’t make much sense to me. When I think of a grand romantic gesture like a candle-light dinner at a nice restaurant or a surprise getaway, there’s usually a guy involved. Right? Ok think of it this way…in order for a woman to get whisked away for a weekend, someone has to be doing the whisking. Right?

Chick flicks, candle-light dinners and long walks on the beach may not be the first things that come to mind for a guy on the topic of romance, but many woman might be surprised how romantic a good man can be. Of course we like to hold our breath and puff out our chests to look strong, but despite our tough guy exteriors, women might be surprised to know that most men desire romance with the right woman — just not always the kind of romance women might have in mind.

Men like adventure and want to go out and do things together. Spending quality time and playing (get your mind out of the gutter) with their woman makes a guy feel close and loving and intimate; it offers an escape from the ordinary, a time to focus on each other — all things that women want from romance too. Right?

Of course it’s important for guys to have a “band of brothers” and do guy things, but most guys don’t want to abandon their girlfriend/fiancée/wife to always do “guy things.” They want to do “guy things” with their girlfriend/fiancée/wife. If you see a woman out hiking or going to the range with her man, I guarantee that all the other guys are jealous. Ladies, perhaps you have been thinking about this all wrong and have been missing opportunities to enjoy a romantic time with your guy…just because you didn’t realize it was romantic. Now I’m not saying that buying flowers, taking your woman out to a romantic dinner is not important, because it is. It’s really important! I’m just saying that there might be more to the whole romantic thing between a man and a woman.

Of course there’s a lot of knuckleheads out there that only see women as sex objects, but forget shows like “Sex and the City,” because the truth is most “real men” want to be husbands and fathers. When a guy gets down on one knee, he has not made this decision lightly. He has thought about and choreographed the moment in his mind over and over, fearing anything less than a joyful response. Ladies, news flash, romantic risk-taking doesn’t get any bigger.

Ok, if you’ve been reading my stuff for awhile, I’ve blown it in the marriage space in the past. But here’s some awesome news…God has brought an incredible Proverbs 31 woman into my life who has become my best friend. Yeah, romance for us includes: flowers, talking, dreaming, whisking away, candle-light dinners, traveling together, going to the range and yup I even asked her to marry me. And, she said yes! How awesome is that!

But it doesn’t stop there guys! It’s doesn’t stop there ladies!

So yes, I plan to keep the romance alive with all the stuff that one connects with romance, including adventure. And before I end this article, here is a poem I stumbled upon that really captures my fiancée and I. Btw…I shared this with her and it brought joy tears to her eyes.

I am a sailor, you’re my first mate.
We signed on together, we coupled our fate.
Hauled up our anchor, determined not to fail.
For the heart’s treasure, together we set sail.
With no maps to guide us, We steered our own course.
Rode out the storms when the winds were gale force.
Sat out the doldrums in patience and hope.
Working together, we learned how to cope.
Life is an ocean and love is a boat.
In troubled waters it keeps us afloat.
When we started the voyage there was just me and you.
Now gathered round us we have our own crew.
Together we’re in this relationship.
We built it with care to last the whole trip.
Our true destination’s not marked on any chart.
We’re navigating the shores of the heart.
-John McDermott

So guys…man up and kick it into 5th gear with the romance!